it can take surprisingly little to make a grandparent feel included, valued, and loved.

1) send pictures.

it costs you almost zero time or energy and is a low0impact way to help grandparents feel involved and up-to-date. you can also buy a digital frame that lets you add new snapshots remotely.

2) don't try to read their mind.

it's often not direct criticism of our parenting that undermines out relationship with our parents but the quiet concern we think we see in their faces, those knowing glances that we're sure are silently saying.

3)let your parents and kids socialize sole.

if you issues with your parents or in-laws make it hard for you to engage with them, try something counterintuitive: back off

4)try to keep thins (mostly) even.

maybe you adore your father-in-law but find your own dad grating-and, as a result, don't want to alternate holidays. but making sure both sets of grandparents feel included can help head off resentment, says Spiegel. This may take a little sacrifice, but the dividends are worth it.

5)keep them present in your kid's lives.

if your child's grandparents live far away, let tch help close the distance. you're likely already doing facetime, but to ramp up video chats, try caribu, an app that lets grandparents and kids read a digital story together or jointly color a picture, all while seeing each other in a video window.